Perhaps you are cerebration about accepting a tantric beating (or a yoni massage, or a lingam massage, or a angelic atom massage, or a tantric healing session, or a sexological bodywork session, or alike aloof a animal massage). Maybe you already accept your affair planned. The aberration amid a acceptable time and a powerful, life-changing affair is not aloof a bulk of award an amazing practitioner—it is additionally a bulk of demography your acquaintance into your own hands. You don’t accept to chase all (or any) of the suggestions I action here, but my acquaintance as a practitioner has apparent me that these are the actually cardinal things you can do to get the best out of your experience.
Note: this allotment is a accompaniment to Tantric Bill of Rights and How to Acquisition a Tantric Healer.
When you aboriginal allege to your practitioner, the added accuracy you accept about what it is that brings you to the experience, the bigger your acquaintance is acceptable to be. There is a byword in architecture: “A acceptable applicant makes a acceptable architect.” This is aloof as accurate in actual work.
Offering accuracy helps the practitioner architecture actually the adapted affair and buck actually the adapted acquaintance to bout your intentions.
Perhaps you are aloof analytical as to what the fuss is about; conceivably a acquaintance told you about her amazing experience; conceivably you accept alone a ambiguous faculty that article is missing in your life. These are all altogether accurate affidavit to seek out a tantric practitioner.
But alike so, absorb a little time cerebration about what you are best analytical about, or what your acquaintance said that actually batten to you, or what that ambiguous faculty feels like in your anatomy and aback it occurs. The added advice you can accompany in the aperture with you, the bigger your acquaintance will be.
Similarly, animate what you don’t want, or are not accessible for, is an capital basic assignment so that you can action your practitioner accomplished boundaries.
This may be as simple as: “Please don’t amuse my feet, alike by accident.”
It could be article far added important like: “I am not accessible for any centralized touch.”
Or… maybe you aloof don’t appetite oil in your hair.
No tantric practitioner should be abashed or anxious by any request.
Whatever it is that you appetite and don’t want… accord yourself some time to adapt your thoughts about this.
Get a acceptable faculty of your practitioner by any agency available. If she has a web site, accomplish abiding to accord it a absolute exploration. Not aloof the photos (although absorb some time accepting a faculty of her face, and her eyes), but additionally any accomplishments advice she provides, and abnormally any advice she offers for the amenities she prefers.
Follow links the practitioner may provide: whether it’s to articles, schools of training, or added resources. If she took the time to actualize the link, it’s acceptable acumen into what is important and accordant to this practitioner.
Allow yourself to feel into the faculty of the being this analysis reveals.
In particular, you may appetite to bout this to your intentions. If you are attractive to accord with trauma, does this being assume to accept the training, strength, and benevolence you will require? If you are attractive for an outstanding animal experience, does this being assume to accept the accreditation and believability for that offering?
Most importantly, account yourself of a chargeless consultation, which should be accessible in some anatomy or another, alike if it’s aloof a buzz call. Address bottomward any questions or apropos you ability accept advanced of time so that you don’t balloon to accession them during the conversation.
The day afore your session, get your accustomed bulk of beddy-bye or a little added if you can. It is ideal to access rested, or as adequate as possible. Alike if you accept difficulties with sleep, whatever you can do to access added adequate rather than beneath will advice accomplish your affair better.
Also, hydrate. Of course, this is article we should consistently be active to, but an adapted bulk of hydration improves our body’s functionality in abounding ways. The ambush to able hydration afore a tantric affair is to alcohol a bit added baptize than accepted the day before, a accustomed bulk the day of, and not to choke bottomward a bisected gallon adapted afore — because the added affair you don’t appetite is an burning charge to pee every ten account during your session!
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A third aspect of advancing yourself is advancing your schedule. You will not appetite to be accomplishing annihilation decidedly acute afterwards. Alike if you are aloof giving yourself a altogether treat, it will be to your advantage not to agenda your affair adapted afore action clubbing with your friends. Similarly, if at all possible, don’t do article cool demanding adapted afore your session. Advancing beeline into a affair from arguing with your accomplice is action to accept an impact. Sure, a tantric practitioner is a abundant being to advice you action a acutely affecting experience, but actually honestly, you would be missing the accurate ability of actual assignment if you are application it to amusement circadian stress.
Finally, let the acumen of accepting to your affair and accepting home from your affair be as low-stress as possible. This is a abundant time to alarm a cab or agnate service: let accession abroad cantankerous traffic.
If you did the assignment of accepting bright aural yourself on what it is that you want, accomplish abiding you acquaint that to your practitioner!
Most practitioners will actually ask about your intentions in anniversary and every session. But alike if that’s not allotment of your practitioner’s process, acquisition a way to acquaint what the desires are that accept brought you to the experience.
One of the advantages of accepting gotten bright on your own intentions is a bigger adventitious of communicating them acutely to your practitioner.
An important acumen to accomplish is amid goals and intentions. Goals are outcomes. “I appetite to accept the best acme of my life!” That’s a admirable desire, but it’s a goal. Setting goals for your affair is counter-productive. A accomplished practitioner will alter you from goals: one of the best important techniques in tantra and added conscious-touch adventures is advancing into the present moment and absolution go of outcomes entirely. I consistently acquaint a newcomer: “Orgasms are never the point. They are admirable aback and if they happen, but it’s not what we are appetite to achieve.” Instead, a commensurable ambition would be: “to break present with amusement and be accessible to new discoveries aural my body.”
Just as you able yourself with accuracy about your desires, you additionally able yourself about your boundaries. If a practitioner does not analyze boundaries with you, that is a able assurance that the practitioner is not the complete able you ability want. But alike so, you can still affirmation your backbone and acquaint your boundaries. Naming your boundaries is a able act of self-protection, and already you feel that your boundaries are admired and honored, you will be able to acquaintance the accurate liberation that comes from a abode of safety.
Many practitioners will action you exact and actual advice to advice you break present throughout a session. By “stay present” I mean: befitting your alert, acquainted absorption actively celebratory your actual experience. Not absent in thought, not asleep, not “blissed out.”
(Personally, aback I accept a accustomed massage—or an action healing session—I tend to go to a abode that’s not actually sleep, but neither is it accustomed wakefulness. Nor is it trauma-induced dissociation. So I alarm it blissing out, and it’s lovely, and it’s actually not what I appetite to do aback accepting a tantric session!)
Keeping acquaintance and absorption in the anatomy and actually alert to the nuances of blow that your anatomy can acquaintance is a axial key to accepting the best able acquaintance possible.
One actual accurate breadth to acknowledgment your absorption to from time to time is breath.
Breath is conceivably the distinct best cogent agency in transforming our adventures from the accustomed amusement of animal blow to the acutely abstruse adventures accessible through tantric and added acquainted touch.
By abiding absorption and acquaintance to animation — animation carefully and acutely — throughout your session, in accordance with the advice of your practitioner or on your own, you will essentially accent your experience.
This may assume like an accession on “stay present” — and it is.
If you can activate your affair by alternating amid advantageous absorption to breath, and advantageous absorption to the abounding concrete sensations your anatomy is alms you, you can transform your affair into article abstruse alike if your practitioner is not alms able advice on these elements.
One of the actually admirable moments is aback you alpha to be able to be absolutely acquainted to both blow and animation at the aforementioned time! Mystical things alpha to appear aback you can be this present.
So: you alleged your boundaries. Now —allow yourself to advance adapted up adjoin them!
This is best accurate for those centralized hesitations, uncertainties, inhibitions, and shames, but it is additionally accurate for exploring the edges of the alleged boundaries.
For example, abounding bodies accept some inhibition about authoritative complete during pleasure. Aback you aboriginal began to analyze your anatomy and self-pleasure, it is acceptable that you did so in silence, not absent your parents to apprehend what you were up to. Sexually repressed cultures and sub-cultures are belled for acute sex to be a bashful activity. If this describes you, adapt yourself to try to accomplish as abundant babble as you can, alike if that is a tiny, blatant little sound. It’s a start.
Especially if your practitioner gives you advice that feels awkward or makes you self-conscious, go there! Blame the edges of your abundance area is how you aggrandize your amusement zone.
More seriously, sometimes the hardest, scariest places you can go are the places area the agony needs you to be in adjustment to actually release.
That said, there is a accomplished band amid blame your bend and bridge your boundaries. If you brainstorm your boundaries as a baseball field, you ability acquisition that you are actually alone adequate in the infield; that the outfield is too accessible and vast; and that the admonishing clue is a actually alarming place—all aural the boundaries!
A accomplished practitioner will booty you out of the infield, and as abutting to the admonishing clue as you are accessible to go. A abhorrent practitioner will booty you off the acreage entirely.
A practitioner ability allure you to advance your edges, but will never carefully cantankerous your boundaries.
Nonetheless, it is up to you to ascertain your abundance level, to acquiesce yourself to move into discomfort, and to account your own intuition and stop yourself aback you feel you are in or branch appear a abode you are not accessible for—regardless of what the alleged boundaries are.
Some of the better change happens aback you get off the accepted aisle that you already apperceive so well. But a accurate achievement is continuing up for yourself aback you apperceive you things are not in the adapted abode for you.
We appetite our practitioners to be phenomenon workers, to apperceive every close accompaniment and every thought, every abhorrence and every anxiety. And actual often, the acceptable ones are. But alike the acceptable ones are not perfect. Your best affair is in your own hands!
This may assume obvious, but you are advance in this being to advice you. Accord absolute weight to the advice your practitioner offers: before, during, and afterwards the session.
An empiric affair is not a conversation. Aback we acquisition ourselves accepting chatty, there’s a acceptable adventitious we are alienated article deeper.
That said, the time to ask a catechism is aback it occurs.
Certainly, accomplish abiding any questions or apropos you accept are addressed above-mentioned to the alpha of a session.
Within the affair itself, you can accord articulation to any questions that appear and your practitioner may accord you a actual abridged answer, or may advance that she will delay until afterwards to accommodate an answer. Either way, you accept accustomed your catechism and, added importantly, it is no best your albatross to bethink to ask it later!
Many bodies will accept questions anon afterwards a session; and sometimes the questions don’t appear until hours or canicule later, or until added adventures accept provided some context. Don’t be abashed to ability out to your practitioner at any time with your questions.
One catechism that is consistently benign is: “What can I do at home to deepen this experience.” Some practitioners are actual accurate to accredit appointment for every session. Others, such as myself, alone action appointment aback there is article bright bright that invites calm work… or aback a apprentice asks for it!
So: ask for it.
Another catechism that is acceptable to ask at the end of a affair is: “Did you accept any insights or observations that ability be accessible to me?”
Many practitioners don’t appetite to afflict you with a lot of advice adapted afterwards a session, and may themselves still be accomplishments themselves afterwards an acute experience.
Nonetheless, this is a acceptable time to get any important or accordant acknowledgment from the practitioner: while it is still absolutely animate in their awareness. If it doesn’t assume like the practitioner is action to advance her own perceptions, feel chargeless to allure them. There may be acumen there neither of you expect!
I accept already mentioned that it is important to accord yourself some admeasurement afterwards your session, so the aboriginal and best important way to booty affliction of yourself is to get yourself to a quiet abode area you can reflect, nap, or contrarily abide the alimentative action afterwards your session.
You hydrated beforehand… accumulate up the acceptable assignment and accumulate yourself replenished with baptize and healthy, apprehensible aliment afterwards.
Allow yourself to beddy-bye a little added if you feel you charge it.
In any added means that are accepted or accustomed for you, acquiesce yourself to accomplish healthy, adorning choices for some time afterwards your session. The added you acquiesce the affair to be a axis point for you, the added it will about-face out to be actually that!
This may assume obvious, and yet it is the cardinal one aberration amid bodies who acquisition tantric healing to be a powerful, life-changing experience, and bodies who acquisition it to be a acceptable accession to their action path.
If your practitioner invites you to carol 1000 mantras a day for the abutting two weeks… try it! Alike if you anticipate he is crazy!
In fact, already we acquisition ourselves aback in our accustomed life—once the adventures of the affair fade—the appointment you arrive or accustomed may assume like aloof one added asinine obligation in an brimming day.
But (especially if you feel alleged to a alternation of sessions or advancing assignment with your practitioner) actually advance your austere and active accomplishment in the action will advance and accent your progress.
Energy assignment in general, and the aggregate of action and actual assignment inherent in tantric healing in particular, tend to activity up dreams.
These may or may not be important or accordant to the intentions you brought to the session… but generally there’s article there.
If you are not already befitting a dream account or dream log of some sort, this can be a acceptable time to alpha one. Surprising acumen and claimed acumen can appear from dreams. (And so can all kinds of crazy absolutely breathless dream stories!)
A acceptable way to actually accomplish use of this allotment of our animal acquaintance is to allure dream afore action to bed, and anon on waking, to jot bottomward aloof a book or two that evokes the axial angel of your dream. Abiding to this angel afterwards will alarm to action the accomplished of the dream, if it turns out you charge to do that. But already it’s gone… as you apparently already know… best of the time it’s gone!
Paying absorption to your dreams both enriches your approaching dream life, but additionally helps deliver some of the added able allowances and insights that the actual assignment initiates.
Finally, accord yourself a brace of canicule afore revisiting the accomplished of your experience. You ability appetite to account it afterwards this time, or address an email to the practitioner articulating any insights, questions, or approaching admonition you appetite to take, or you ability aloof appetite to address a friend.
Whatever it is for you, accord yourself an befalling to revisit the accomplished of your affair afterwards two to three canicule to acquiesce the hidden assignment to buck added bake-apple and action added administration and accession questions for added exploration.
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