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The cornerstone of the Buffett diet: Blooming Coke.

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In 2015, Buffett told Fortune he was “one-quarter Coca-Cola.”

Buffett said he advantaged either Diet Coke or Blooming Coke and had at atomic bristles cans of the soda a day.

I absitively to opt for abandoned Blooming Coke throughout the week, as I’m not the bigger fan of the aftertaste of apparent Coke. I am, however, a fan of blooming and cherry-adjacent soda articles like Dr. Pepper and Cheerwine (it’s a North Carolina affair — Google it).

I additionally couldn’t acquirement cans of the actuality at my bounded grocery store, but a two-liter works out to 5.6 cans a day, aural the ballpark of Buffett’s consumption. Thus, I absitively to go with one of these anniversary day.

If you’re wondering, that works out to 252 grams, or 0.56 pounds, of amoroso a day from the Blooming Coke alone. That’s appropriate — I got 84% of my recommended circadian carbohydrate assimilation from aloof the amoroso in the Blooming Coke.

I didn’t initially do the algebraic on the amoroso agreeable of the Blooming Coke, assertive it was bigger to go into the anniversary with a bit of beatific ignorance. While I had affected it would be asperous arresting all of the syrupy-sweet drink, I couldn’t advanced the abounding confusion the Coke would accept on my mood.

On the aboriginal breakfast of the week, I was afraid but had a accumulation of absurd aplomb in my adeptness to handle what was ahead.

In the HBO documentary “Becoming Warren Buffett,” the allegorical broker said his breakfast anniversary day came from McDonald’s and was dictated by the banal market.

Typically, Buffett gets breakfast already the bazaar is open. If stocks are up, he gets a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. If they’re down, he opts for a cheaper breakfast of two sausage patties. If the bazaar is flat, as it was Monday morning afore the open, he goes for the sausage McMuffin.

I get to assignment about 7:30 a.m. ET every day, acceptation I had to abject my McDonald’s alternative on the premarket futures, which tend to be a bit harder to gauge. Regardless, I absitively to try to agency in a bit of qualitative assay based on the across markets and the antecedent day’s abutting (and, by the end of the week, what I could tolerate).

The aboriginal breakfast wasn’t too challenging. The bigger affair was the abridgement of coffee, as Buffett doesn’t alcohol the stuff.

I absitively to front-load the Blooming Coke to get the caffeine I usually got from my coffee while additionally preventing myself from bubbler soda able-bodied into the night.

Additionally, I’d absitively to accumulate clue of my weight anniversary morning and night. For the calorie counts, the Blooming Coke totals are added to the calculation at dinner, aback they were broadcast throughout the day.

Breakfast, Day 1: McDonald’s sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin; Blooming Coke

Breakfast calories: 470

Monday-morning weight: 168.4 pounds

The Blooming Coke hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t alcohol abundant soda — I alcohol mostly baptize and coffee at assignment — so the abrupt access in the bulk of blah abstract in my diet fabricated me feel abundantly sluggish. Plus, the amoroso aerial was so off the archive that I about acquainted the creep of the carbonation in my fingers as I was typing.

Then again, I additionally put bottomward bisected of the two-liter afore 11 a.m. in an attack to front-load the caffeine.

My close adolescent was aflame to accept ice chrism in the boilerplate of the day. The chili-cheese dog aflame me less.

The bun on the Dairy Queen dog was spongy, but not like an angel aliment block — like an absolute kitchen sponge. The hot dog tasted absolute salty.

The sundae was delightful. Buffett says he about gets blooming abstract on his DQ sundaes, which was not an advantage at my Manhattan location. I did get his adopted chopped basics on top.

I was activity appealing advised bottomward at this point. I don’t accept a big cafeteria best canicule — a bloom at best — so the added calories and copious amoroso fabricated me feel bloated.

Lunch, Day 1: Dairy Queen chili-cheese dog; birthmark sundae with chopped nuts; Blooming Coke

Lunch calories: 650

I cheated a bit on banquet for the evening, accepting craven parmigiana — which Buffett usually has as a side. (!)

By the black I was activity a bit better, possibly because I accomplished the coke about 2 p.m.

The big analysis was running. I about try to run four to bristles afar a day afterwards work, and I was afraid how I would feel. I absurd keeling over and puking into the East River.

To my surprise, it was fine. I was allegedly a footfall slower than normal, but I didn’t feel too awful.

Dinner was abundant — I couldn’t accomplishment the accomplished confined — but at the end of Day 1, I was accomplishing bisected decent.

Dinner, Day 1: Craven parmigiana with penne from Famous Calabria Pizza

Dinner calories: about 1,500

Total circadian calories: 3,520

Monday-evening weight: 171.2 pounds

The additional day started abundant better.

I absent beddy-bye on Sunday night annoying about the claiming ahead, but afterwards activity appropriate at the end of the day, I got a acceptable night’s sleep.

Stock futures were up on Tuesday, so I absitively it would be fair to get a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Advancing from the South, I adopted this advantage over the semi-soggy McMuffin from the day before, and I acquainted assured as I tucked into breakfast and the additional behemothic canteen of Blooming Coke.

Breakfast, Day 2: McDonald’s bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit; Blooming Coke

Breakfast calories: 450

Tuesday-morning weight: 170.4 pounds

For lunch, I went for a burger — addition Buffett favorite.

Now, abounding of my coworkers said I cheated by activity with Agitate Shack instead of some bounded restaurant, but you apperceive what? I was the one suffering, and I adapted a slight luxury.

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Another signature Buffett affection is an balance of salt, as John Stumpf, the above Wells Fargo CEO, already described.

“When the aliment comes, Warren grabs a alkali shaker in his larboard duke and one in his right, and it’s a snowstorm,” Stumpf told Bloomberg in 2014.

So I threw a little added sodium on the french chips afore dipping them in the amber shake.

Lunch, Day 2: Agitate Shack ShackBurger; french fries; amber milkshake; Blooming Coke

Lunch calories: 1,710

By Tuesday afternoon, I was … not activity well.

Dear God did I accomplish a mistake.

Again, I attempted to front-load the Blooming Coke, and by 2 p.m. I was added than two-thirds of the way done with the two-liter. Not alone that, but the abundant meal — abnormally the milkshake — was crushing my will to live.

I was jittery, grumpy, exhausted, unfocused, and absolute distraught. The amoroso from the Coke (roughly a half-pound a day) was causing surges and drop-offs in energy.

The access in meat burning was authoritative me diaphoresis added than accepted (weirdly enough, from my kneecaps, of all places). The bloating was authoritative my aback hurt. I was a bones afterwards beneath than 48 hours.

Tuesday night ability accept been my low point, as apparent by my sad banquet spread.

In the boilerplate of my run that evening, I texted a aide cogent my agitation at my concrete state. I was activity acutely slower than I had the day before, and I couldn’t accomplish myself run faster. My legs artlessly wouldn’t move as I wanted.

Upon accepting aback to my accommodation from the run, I was, as my addendum say, “**WRECKED**” by abdomen cramps. My acquaintance absolved in as I was sitting on our couch angled over and asked me whether I was abiding I capital to accumulate going.

I assuredly got myself together, and, clumsy to aggregation the backbone to bulk out a able meal, I aloof fabricated two hot dogs and ate some Utz chips — addition casting Buffett loves.

I went to bed Tuesday night activity abundant beneath enthused about the affairs for the blow of the week.

Dinner, Day 2: Two Hebrew National adequate hot dogs; Utz kettle chips; See’s Candies peanut brittle

Dinner calories: about 650

Total circadian calories: 3,710

Tuesday-evening weight: 171 pounds

Addition day, addition bacon, egg, and cheese.

Honestly, accustomed the contempo acceleration in the banal market, Buffett charge be accepting ailing of these biscuits by now.

I absitively to try to amplitude out the Cokes added analogously to abstain the crashes. (Spoiler: It didn’t work.)

Breakfast, Day 3: McDonald’s bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit; Blooming Coke

Breakfast calories: 450

Wednesday-morning weight: 169.2 pounds

For lunch, I went aback and begin one of Buffett’s go-to cafeteria orders at Gorat’s, an Omaha, Nebraska, institution.

I ordered an open-faced turkey sandwich with bacon and Thousand Island bathrobe from Eisenberg’s, a bounded sandwich shop.

I was served a closed-faced, broken turkey sandwich with bacon and Thousand Island dressing. I wasn’t activity to breach hairs, so I took it aback to the appointment as it was.

The meal was accomplished off by chips and some Blooming Coke.

You may ask: “Bob, did you put added alkali on the chips like you said Buffett consistently does?”

My answer? Yes, I did. Hope you’re adequate my adversity so far.

Lunch, Day 3: Turkey sandwich with bacon and Thousand Island bathrobe from Eisenberg’s Sandwich Shop; french fries; Blooming Coke

Lunch calories: about 900

Banquet on Wednesday was dogie parmigiana with an indulgence: a Hawaiian Punch. I can’t prove Buffett brand bake-apple punch, but, hey, it was my admired aback I was 6.

I absolved home on Wednesday and afresh went for a run.

I acquainted as if the sugar, syrup, and grease leaked from my abdomen to my legs. Children were casual me on the artery during my airing home, and I’m usually a fast walker. Imagine accepting maple abstract in your joints and anatomy — that’s what I acquainted like.

Dinner, Day 3: Dogie parmigiana from Nonna’s LES Pizzeria; water

Dinner calories: 1,060

Total circadian calories: 3,310

Wednesday-evening weight: 172.4 pounds

Futures were down, so I ordered two sausage patties for breakfast. But aloft accession at work, I accomplished the McDonald’s workers gave me alone one.

I’m still not abiding whether the distinct patty was a acceptable or a bad thing, but it did accord me a bit of a breach from abundant meals.

Also, it fabricated me apprehend that McDonald’s sausage by itself is not absolute good. Who could’ve guessed?

Breakfast, Day 4: McDonald’s sausage patty; Blooming Coke

Breakfast calories: 174

Thursday-morning weight: 169.8 pounds

This may be the point to acknowledgment that I’ve done abhorrent things to my anatomy afore — and this was the worst.

I’m no drifter to massive comestible changes — I acquired 80 pounds in academy and afresh absent 45 pounds in three to four months afterwards I graduated. (I abstract my pay as an intern and underestimated NYC rents.)

That is to say: I’ve done some abhorrent things to my anatomy via my diet before.

Even at my heaviest, I never acquainted this run-down. The awe-inspiring affair admitting was that I was still athirst at every meal.

Maybe it was the chemicals from the candy food?

I was active out of abstraction at this point on Thursday, and honestly, I was active with work, so I aloof gave up and got McDonald’s.

Fun fact: Buffett already acclimated coupons to buy Bill Gates cafeteria at McDonald’s.

Oh, addition acumen this was such a abhorrent idea: I awning action actuality at Business Insider, including healthcare and taxes — and, of course, I absitively to try the Buffett diet on the anniversary that Republicans afresh attempted to abolition Obamacare (no, the irony did not escape me) and formed out their best abundant tax-reform framework yet.

This meant that amidst my midafternoon amoroso crash, I was about affected to cull myself out of the fog and address article of substance.

To be fair to myself, I did address a ample bulk over the bristles days. You’d accept to ask my editor Brett whether my diet aching the affection of my writing, but I angle by aggregate I published.

Lunch, Day 4: McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with cheese; french fries; Blooming Coke

Lunch calories: 870

Buffett already ordered a country- (or chicken-) absurd steak with Jay-Z, so I had to get it for a meal.

I absolutely like country-fried steak (see my antecedent animadversion about actuality from the South). This one was from Cowgirl in the West Village.

Buffett isn’t a big fan of broccoli, abundant beneath collard greens, so I did bluff a bit. But, c’mon, absolute collard greens at a restaurant in the North? I had to try them.

Alas, they were bad.

I went with a aide and couldn’t accomplishment the steak and mashed potatoes — not to worry, alkali was added in acute amounts — bidding her to alarm me “weak.” I replied I would booty the assortment home and accomplishment them afterwards (we were bistro adequately early), but I happened to “forget” the bag as I left.

In a abruptness to allegedly no one, the gravy sat abundant in my stomach. Walking to the subway, I was blessed there was alone one day left, but I acquainted terrible.

Dinner, Day 4: Country-fried steak with mashed potatoes, gravy, and collard greens from Cowgirl; water

Dinner calories: 1,540

Total circadian calories: 3,484

Thursday-evening weight: 172.4 pounds

Of advance Buffett eats ice chrism for breakfast. Of advance I was the idiot who adored it for the aftermost day.

Remember what I said about accepting acclimated to it? Not so abundant on Friday morning.

I accept never enjoyed ice chrism less. That’s absolutely all I accept to say about this meal.

Breakfast, Day 5: Ben and Jerry’s Phish Aliment ice cream; Blooming Coke

Breakfast calories: 870

Friday-morning weight: 170.4 pounds

What if Buffett aloof says he eats all of this aliment to accomplish added bodies like me buy it and addition his investments’ sales?

Buffett owns Dairy Queen and holds ample banal in McDonald’s and Coca-Cola. Sitting bottomward for my final lunch, I accomplished I allegedly fabricated the guy a lot of money that week.

The anticipation addled me mid-bite of an M&Ms Blizzard: I was a sucker.

Buffett is a self-mythologizer — a folk hero who presents himself as a affectionate grandfathering but has fabricated it in the abandoned advance world. He’s a brawl of contradictions and amusing oddities.

I couldn’t put it accomplished him to deceive the few interviewers he trusts to casting the afterglow of the band of Buffett.

On the added hand, absolutely bodies see him at these restaurants. He wouldn’t lie about his diet aloof to get a few suckers to addition his sales, would he?

Lunch, Day 5: Dairy Queen chili-cheese dog; french fries; M&M Blizzard; Blooming Coke

Lunch calories: 1,400

Here’s all the Blooming Coke I captivated during the week.

The sugar-and-caffeine blast came easier by Friday. I had abstruse how to administer the timing and abundance of the Coke assimilation to accomplish abiding I had a solid activity assets all day.

But I still acquainted abominable afterwards I accomplished a bottle.

Here’s some fun algebraic on the bulk of Blooming Coke I captivated in the week:

• Total amount: 338 aqueous ounces, or 2.64 gallons.

• Calories: 4,500.

• Sugar: 1,260 grams, or 2.78 pounds.

• Caffeine: 1,020 milligrams, or 204 a day. (An boilerplate cup of coffee, 8 aqueous ounces, has 95 to 165 milligrams.)

For dinner, I went with a few coworkers to Smith & Wollensky, Buffett’s admired New York City restaurant.

Buffett comes actuality already a year for a dinner, at which a advantageous applicant joins the Oracle of Omaha himself. In 2016, the meal went for $3.4 million. All the accretion are accustomed to charity.

I was abutting by four of my coworkers to insolate in the final meal of my ballsy run.

I contacted the restaurant beforehand in the anniversary to say what we would be there for, and the staffers did aggregate to accomplish my acquaintance as accurate as possible.

We sat in the clandestine anteroom area Buffett sits aback he visits, with a abounding bottle bank attractive into the kitchen. There was a applique with Buffett’s name on it and a letter from him affected on the wall.

I asked our waiter, Baci, who had served Buffett on his cruise to NYC in August, to accompany me what the man ate. This was a mistake.

We started with article off-menu alleged the “seafood bouquet.” It featured lobster, shrimp, and agglomeration backtalk meat. The seafood was all-powerful — admitting it was chilled, and I about adore seafood hot.

I began to feel a bit afraid as I dined on the appetizer, cerebration aback to aggregate I had put bottomward that week. I capital to accept an accurate meal at a admired area of Buffett’s, but could I survive to the end?

Also, I charge accept actuality that I bankrupt the Buffett rules by accepting a bit of wine. But it was the end of the week, and can you absolutely accusation me?

Next, the steak: a 32-ounce Colorado rib-eye.

In what can alone be compared to the archaic tomahawk of a caveman, the boss Colorado rib-eye emerged on a bowl still sizzling. At that point, a glorious, absolution faculty of bender overtook me, and I laid all of the abhorrent commons of the aftermost anniversary to the side.

The steak was a knockout.

For the aboriginal three-quarters of a pound, I captivated it with adventuresome abandon, blank the assured aliment hangover that was absolutely coming. The rib-eye was adapted to accomplishment and cut beautifully, and it independent aloof the appropriate bulk of fat.

When I hit the bank — and I hit it adamantine — there was an cardinal faculty of disappointment that I artlessly couldn’t accomplishment the meal.

The final tallies for banquet were, in a word, monumental.

I wasn’t alike bashed from the wine, but the meal agape me out. I was disturbing to anatomy articular thoughts as all the claret ran from my academician to my stomach, attempting to handle the arrival of fat, protein, and sugar.

My coworkers and I ambled adjoin Grand Central Station, and I acquainted dazed. We absitively adjoin a post-dinner drink, and abnormality off from the blow of the group, I acquainted borderline on my feet.

I huffed and aloof my way aback to my accommodation abreast Chinatown, afraid authentic steak grease.

Upon authoritative it back, I burst on the attic of my active room. I dozed off for a little over an hour, aggravating to pretend my abdomen wasn’t beginning at the seams.

Dinner, Day 5: Seafood bouquet, 32-ounce Colorado rib-eye steak, assortment browns, buttery spinach, and attic block from Smith & Wollensky; red wine; water

Dinner calories: 3,343

Total circadian calories: 6,513

Friday-evening weight: 175.2 pounds

What did I learn?

Let’s get this out of the way: Don’t eat like Warren Buffett unless you are Warren Buffett.

The man himself says to be yourself instead of artful him. This applies not alone to investing, but to dieting as well.

My acquaintance was miserable, and I accomplished why I committed myself to bistro advantageous aback I confused to New York. Actuality apathetic and angry during the day aloof isn’t fun.

It’s additionally a acceptable assignment in acquainted limits. Buffett allegedly has none; I absolute abundant do.

And, finally, I now accept Buffett’s advance action perfectly!

Just kidding.

I aloof accept a few added pounds to assignment off and a acceptable story.

Average calories a day: 4,107.4

Total calories over bristles days: 20,537

Weight gain, Monday morning to Saturday morning: 2.4 pounds

Weight gain, Monday black to Friday evening: 4 pounds

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