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Hello, bodies of the Web, and acceptable to a appropriate adaptation of Letters to Doug, your admired cavalcade wherein you accelerate me a letter with some array of question, and I cavalcade a acknowledgment with some array of answer.



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Why is this week’s Letters to Doug special? It isn’t! Hah! But I got you to apprehend it, and you aren’t activity to stop now, because what the hell abroad are you activity to do? Go aback to work?



Anyway: if you appetite to accelerate me a letter for this column, you can e-mail me at [email protected], or accelerate me a agenda on my Facebook page. This week’s letter comes to us from a clairvoyant I’ve called Pericles, afterwards the acclaimed Greek orator who died of the plague. Pericles writes:



Dear Doug,

I was travelling in Germany and noticed that abounding cartage don’t accept any book on the aback advertence their model. In the US best Mercedes accept C or E on the back, but best of them in Germany did not accept anything, added than the Mercedes attribute in the middle.

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I was cerebration about how and accomplished that the buyer doesn’t charge it. Because they (hopefully) apperceive which archetypal their car is. Or if they don’t, they apparently couldn’t affliction beneath which archetypal it is anyway.

So why is it everywhere in the US? I am from California and we don’t accept those brainless banker labels on the aback of our cars, so is that article similar? Is it because Germans aren’t arrogant like the Americans?

Pericles

This is an accomplished question, Pericles, but I anticipate it will crave a little explanation. So actuality it is: back you go to Europe, about every affluence car has been de-badged. What the Europeans do is, they buy the car, and again they abolish the badges, and again they angle there, proudly attractive at their block lid, adulatory they had called article added agitative than the 79-horsepower agent archetypal with hubcaps.

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But interestingly, Europeans generally do this to about all models, from the base-level 118d, appropriate up to the E63 AMG. The Swiss are abnormally acclaimed for it. The aftermost time I was in Zurich, I was actually attractive central interiors to acquisition some adumbration of BMW M, or Audi S, or Mercedes AMG, because those bastards will alike cull off the little brand that says “V8 BITURBO” on the side.

The barring to all this is in the U.K., area bodies will not alone leave on their badges, but they will alter them with the badges from higher-end models. For example: some kid will get a 1994 BMW 504d, which uses a 0.4-liter agent agent from a aggressive typewriter, and he will brand it as “530d,” aloof to acquaint his accompany that he has a 3-liter V6. Again he will absorb the blow of his activity beneath the alert eye of British CCTV cameras.

So anyway: why do they do this? Why do Europeans abolish the badges?

What I accept apparent is that there are two reasons. At the basal level, Europeans abolish the badges because they don’t appetite bodies to apperceive that they went for some base-level crapbox instead of a absolute powertrain. In this sense, Europeans are far added arrogant than us Americans: they cull off the 316i brand on the atrocious achievement that addition abaft them in cartage believes they bought a 318i instead.

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But it isn’t alone the bottom-level bodies who do it. S-Classes in Europe are de-badged. AMG cars. BMW M3s and M4s. Back I formed for Porsche and catholic to Germany, I had this chat with dozens of my colleagues abounding times, and they all said the aforementioned thing, namely that you cull off the badges on low-end cars and on high-end cars for the exact aforementioned reason: you don’t appetite bodies to apperceive what you got.

For example: you’re a average administrator who absitively to dump a huge allocation of your paycheck into your dream car, a Cayenne Turbo? Cull the brand off and your bang-up will never know. And why should the guy abaft you in cartage apperceive how affluent you are? You know. You don’t affliction what he thinks. He apparently has a 316i and tells strangers in parking lots that it’s a 318.

In this sense, Europeans are far subtler than we Americans will anytime be, decidedly the guy I saw aftermost anniversary in a Mustang GT with a behemothic Mustang logo buried assimilate his hood. That’s the affectionate of guy who goes about cogent belief area he could calmly use the byword “we got into my car,” but instead he says “we got into my Mustang GT.”

And so, the aftereffect is that basically anybody in Europe de-badges their affluence vehicles. If you’re poor, you don’t appetite bodies to apperceive you’re poor, and if you’re rich, you don’t appetite bodies to apperceive you’re rich. And if you’re British, you are apparently beneath CCTV surveillance appropriate now.

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I achievement that helps, Pericles. I additionally achievement you don’t die of the plague.

@DougDeMuro is the columnist of Plays With Cars, which his mother says is “fairly decent.” He formed as a administrator for Porsche Cars North America afore abandonment to become a writer.

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